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Post-orgasm karezza is misaligned

A letter from my father

Needs and Needy

Power

Your biggest career decision is who you marry

by Penelope Trunk Sheryl Sandberg, the woman who runs Facebook, has said that the most important career choice you’ll make is who you marry. I have to agree with this statement. Here’s why: If you marry someone with a big career and you want to have a big career you have to find that rare […]

Mutually beneficial relationships

Men keep blaming ‘Nature’

I apologize for playing “nice”

Courtesan

A courtesan was originally a female courtier, which means a person who attends the court of a monarch or other powerful person.

In feudal society, the court was the centre of government as well as the residence of the monarch, and social and political life were often completely mixed together. Prior to the Renaissance, courtesans served to convey information untrusted to servants to visiting dignitaries. In Renaissance Europe, courtiers played an extremely important role in upper-class society. As it was customary during this time for royal couples to lead separate lives — commonly marrying simply to preserve bloodlines and to secure political alliances — men and women would often seek gratification and companionship from people living at court. In fact, the verb “to court” originally meant “to be or reside at court”, and later came to mean “to behave as a courtier” and then “to pay amorous attention to somebody”.[2] The most intimate companion of a ruler was called the favourite.

In Renaissance usage, the Italian word “cortigiana”, feminine of “cortigiano” (courtier) came to refer to “the ruler’s mistress”, and then to a well-educated and independent woman of free morals, eventually a trained artisan of dance and singing, especially one associated with wealthy, powerful, or upper-class men who provided luxuries and status in exchange for companionship.[3] The word was borrowed by English from Italian through the French form “courtisane” during the 16th century, especially associated to the meaning of “court-mistress” and “prostitute”.[1] Read more

a Woman’s Orgasm

From Slow Sex by Nicole Daedone

p. 15
Orgasm is the body’s ability to receive and respond to pleasure.

p. 14
Ask a hundred people what it takes for a man to have an orgasm, and hands will shoot up all over the room.


But ask that same group of people for the formula that will make a woman orgasmic, and the show of hands will be sparse at best. Everybody knows how to get him off, but she’s … complicated.


Thanks to cultural conditioning that says a woman’s parts are best kept in the dark, many women have a hard time feeling connected to their genitals – and thus, their own orgasm.

Which, as it turns out, is very different from a man’s.

So when we compare her orgasm to his (which we do) and hold his orgasm as the model she should be striving for (which we do), then her orgasm can look like a problem child who sometimes refuses to come to the party.

Orgasm is Satisfaction

from The Technology of Orgasm by Rachel P Maines, p. 61

A propensity to equate enjoyment of coitus with orgasmic satisfaction remains embedded in both medical and popular discussion despite nearly a century of study of female sexuality.


For most men, apparently, orgasm is satisfaction. Women, however, traditionally have been expected to find enjoyment in an activity – coitus – that results in orgasm for women in only a minority of instances. Thus women’s pleasure in sex, which may consist of arousal, enjoyment of physical intimacy, or the expression of affection it represents for both partners, is routinely interpreted both by scientists and even by some historians as orgasmic experience, whether or not it actually is.

The most important career decision you’re going to make

(as a woman) The most important career decision you’re going to make is whether or not you have a life partner, and who that partner is.

– Sheryl Sandberg in her 2011 Barnard College Commencement address.