The secrets of sexual arousal are hidden in plain sight.
You just have to know what you’re looking for.
Physical sexual arousal – the sexually aroused body – has been endlessly studied, most famously by Masters and Johnson in the 1960′s. And less rigorously but no less intensely by every sexual couple since the dawn of human self-awareness.
Most couples study the male partner’s erections and the female partner’s state of lubrication carefully, for reassurance about their respective states of sexual arousal. Urban legends rise and fall concerning other putative guides to one’s partner’s level of sexual arousal (see “nipple erection,” “pupil dilation”). But through all of this, we’re in the realm of the sexually aroused body.
The sexually aroused mind has proved harder to study. Research on mental sexual arousal continues to await its Masters and Johnson.
In the meantime, when patients ask me how to recognize arousal, I tell them to look for the following signs: Read more
An Ode to Orgasms reposted from Clutch Mag online – by Arielle Loren
It’s the way I shake, insides trembling, back arched, sighs released. There’s nothing like an orgasm to remind me of the power of sexuality, our bodies’ relationships to sensuality, and the innate gift of being a woman with a vagina. Female orgasms are God’s gift to women. When pleasured right, we climax harder, longer, and more frequently than our male counterparts. We can feel vibrating energy from our heads to our toes. We simply get more from making love.
I don’t know when women got duped into believing that sex was for men. But there’s enough women sharing their bodies with partners that aren’t invested in the joint experience of sex. These women have become the vessels of male pleasure, vaginal walls gifting bliss without reciprocity as an expectation. Read more
Orgasm is the body’s ability to receive and respond to pleasure.
Ask a hundred people what it takes for a man to have an orgasm, and hands will shoot up all over the room.
But ask that same group of people for the formula that will make a woman orgasmic, and the show of hands will be sparse at best. Everybody knows how to get him off, but she’s … complicated.
Thanks to cultural conditioning that says a woman’s parts are best kept in the dark, many women have a hard time feeling connected to their genitals – and thus, their own orgasm.
Which, as it turns out, is very different from a man’s.
So when we compare her orgasm to his (which we do) and hold his orgasm as the model she should be striving for (which we do), then her orgasm can look like a problem child who sometimes refuses to come to the party.
A propensity to equate enjoyment of coitus with orgasmic satisfaction remains embedded in both medical and popular discussion despite nearly a century of study of female sexuality.
For most men, apparently, orgasm is satisfaction. Women, however, traditionally have been expected to find enjoyment in an activity – coitus – that results in orgasm for women in only a minority of instances. Thus women’s pleasure in sex, which may consist of arousal, enjoyment of physical intimacy, or the expression of affection it represents for both partners, is routinely interpreted both by scientists and even by some historians as orgasmic experience, whether or not it actually is.
Lover individuals are most fulfilled by building relationships. Naturally appreciative, passionate, and committed, they enjoy creating consensus and motivating others to see and utilize their own special gifts. They’re usually excited and challenged by opportunities to enjoy the richness and fullness of life.
Lover organizations often are very successful at building real partnerships among employees and clients; seeing the possibilities for greater quality of life inside and outside of the workplace; and establishing harmonious ways of working together.
Lover types need to be careful about cliquishness, emotional intrigue/drama, and conflict avoidance.
- Partner/intimate : Forms close bonds; finds ways to make others feel special
- Harmonizer : Ensures that relationships are harmonious and pleasurable
- Connector/matchmaker : Brings together people/groups who are well suited
for each other
- Aesthete : Appreciates/creates beauty and beautiful environments
- Bon vivant : Lives life with passion and enthusiasm