What do men gain from women?
What do men gain from women? The off-the-cuff answer is Sex, isn’t it? Absolutely, that kind of fun is part of the package. But here’s the bigger context for this question –
My heart fills with appreciation for men who are taking a stand for respect, equity, compassion and understanding between the genders. Voices like those from The Good Men Project, The New Man Podcast, The Current Conscience, and the often-irreverent Very Smart Brothas are engaging in revolutionary conversations about living a new kind of actualized masculine experience.
It’s thrilling that so many are noticing the benefits to men as well as to women when men become enlightened, more considerate lovers, fathers, brothers, colleagues, and friends.
Feminine energy is diffuse and multi-dimensional in its awareness. This 2008 TNM podcast gave me language for what I experience as a woman. Part of my hardwiring is that I feel men and their presence.
Women are scanners, assessors, connectors. Whether biologically or by culture, we’re constantly monitoring how we’re doing, how you’re doing, what needs to be attended to and taken care of. We’re doing all of this through our emotions and our brains. We’re busy, and it’s why we can appear scattered or distracted.
By contrast, masculine energy is focused, singular, rooted. When women are around this energy, we relax. Men’s focus provides a restful counterweight to our constant scanning. And when we feel men’s positive attention on us, we appreciate receiving the attentiveness that we are usually providing for everyone else. It’s like the grounding dynamic of a lighting rod.
The men who are talking about a new iteration of manhood are really encouraging a fuller expression of masculinity – one that encompasses the expansive, care-taking, respectful, honest, supportive qualities of the fully expressed Warrior archetype. A Warrior doesn’t go looking for battle. A Warrior stands for what is right and good for everyone. This energy provides a grounded platform to play on.
When women feel that a man has this energy handled, we can let go of some of those concerns and move further into our feminine characteristics – the soft and the strong. That is the gift you give us.
So, here again is the question: What do men gain from women?
In your journey to become Real Men, Good Men, Warriors, Mensch, what’s in it for you from us?