the Vulnerability of a Request

Slow Sex by Nicole Daedone, page 68

Even for couples who have been together for a long time (and perhaps especially for couples who have been together for a long time) it can feel very vulnerable to voice a sexual desire. The thought alone can set off a fireworks display of fears, leaving us raw and edgy in our most tender spots. If we do find the courage to ask, we then have to field the response. There are few moments as saturated with sensation as the moment a request for sex has crossed your lips and is still hanging in the air, waiting for either acceptance or rejection. We can’t seem to help assigning a lot of significance to the outcome. If she says yes, it means you are attractive, acceptable, desirable, sexy. If she says no, it means you are the opposite of all those things. These are, of course, just interpretations; they are not the truth.